While Shopping for Your …

I entered a Flash Fiction contest at The League of Extraordinary Authors. It was for 500 words. I am thoroughly excited about what the Judge said and my story. Please enjoy reading it. Leave a comment if you like.

#FlashFiction contest judge Dan Holloway says:“The most conventional story on the shortlist, with a structure that’s essentially anecdote and humorous twist, this rises above that structure both through the sheer surreal inventiveness of the anecdote and the marvelous voice of the narrator, which is pitch perfect. The dialogue is also superlative, a great example of how to write speech that really counts without a wasted line.”

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Dumpster Dive 5/16/12
Mary Roya, Houston, Texas, USA

Getting up early on a Saturday morning is the best time of the day especially for dumpster diving. There’s not a lot of traffic and it’s an optimum time for finding prime resale odds and ends. My best friend, Sissy’s birthday is today and finding her the perfect gift has been a bit difficult. Shoot just finding a gift for her is a challenge. Money is tight this year so I’m being imaginative. I feel a surge of excitement. Today is the day I find that extraordinary prize. My first stop is at the ‘Pink Pussy Kat’. I start poking around with my grabber, an extended pole with a squeeze and release trigger for pulling items out of the bins. It must have been a really wild party last night, I didn’t dive far to find booty. Oh my God! I gotta call Sissy now.

“Hey Sissy, you will never guess what I found, while shopping for your Birthday present.”

Sighing knowing that once she starts there’s no stopping her, “Mabel, I don’t like guessing games. Just tell me!”

“Well you know how much I love those dumpsters on 85th Street?”

“Yes, what in the world did you find?” Curiosity fills her voice.

“I am poking around the bins behind that old strip club, the ‘Pink Pussy Kat’?

“Mabel, you’re driving me crazy. Just tell me, ok?”

“Aw, now Sissy, just hold on to your horses. I’m telling you great story. Anyway, like I said before you interrupted me. So here I am poking around in the dumpster and I find the most outrageous pink sparkly shirt that I know you would love.”

“Mabel, finish the damn story!”

“Geez, you are so impatient. Then I saw some red, white and black striped socks, as I reached for them. They moved and right under some torn jeans I found a man!”

“Mabel, you’re shitting me, a man!”

“No, I’m not! He grabs me and kisses me right on the lips and gives me tongue! Sissy tongue! He gave me tongue. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had tongue?”

“Good Lord, Mabel. What did you do?”

“I gave him tongue right back. Then I helped him out of the dumpster and into my car. He is naked as a blue jay except for a cowboy hat and socks. He is a fine looking man. So I had to take a little peek.”

“Mabel, you didn’t do anything stupid!”

“Hush up Sissy, this is my story. Let me tell it my way. So, I get him home and to bed. He says he wants to make mad passionate love to me. So I says sure, can I invite a friend.

Sissy hears a male voice yelling “Oh hell yes!”

“Mabel, is that him?”

“Oh yes, it’s him. I figure we have a couple of hours before he’s sober. I’m leaving the door unlocked, you are coming over? “

“Yes, I’ll be there in five.”

“Sissy.”

“Yes, Mabel?

“Happy Birthday, hon!”

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